What happens in La Paz stays on my blog

Shit my boyfriend said during our trip to Mexico…     To all the babes: dont wear a lot of make up on your face if you want me to lick it.   I subscribe to Harper’s.   In this instance, you might be right. This is a small victory for you.   I cant … Continue reading

Chris Nolan And Larry David Collaborate On INCEPTION DVD Release

The highly anticipated DVD/blu ray release of Inception is slated for [insert date here]. Details of the special features discs are slowly being released. symposium says has learned that viewers will have the option to include a Zooey Deschanel decapitation in one of Arthur’s dreams during the movie. She serves as one of his projections/baggage … Continue reading

3 Philosophy Grad Students Walk Into A Bar…

3 philosophy grad students walk into a bar…   Bernard: Hey, have you guys seen that one cocktail waitress around here lately? The boorish one. Phillip: The ol’ curmudgeon who always messes up my order and brings me a Jack mixed with petulance… Gail: The ol’ curmudgeon who Bernard wants to sleep with, Phillip – … Continue reading

I Came, I Saw, I Judged: Christopher Nolan’s Inception [MINDFONDLE]

YO. All I gots to say is that Christopher Nolan has now saved me thousands of dollars. Because I no longer have to pay ridiculous amounts of money to have a therapist help me sift through my “issues”. Now all I gotta do to help me deal with my Angst is watch Inception. Inception was … Continue reading

Need Architect To Help Perform Inception

So a Mr. Charles contacted Symposium Says over the weekend. He wanted soren to create a craigslist ad for a special job he and his team would be performing in the near future. Mr. Charles has received plenty of replies to the ad, however, he says most of them are either forgers or chemists, which are … Continue reading

CHRIS NOLAN OR DIE: A Look At The Filmmaker’s Resume, Including Reasons Why This Brit Is Better Than You

objective: in honor of the theatrical release of Christopher Nolan’s Inception, we take a look at the writer/director’s resume in order to remind you why this Brit is better than you. Like, waaay better. #britidliketofuck #wishiwerebritish FOLLOWING (1999) Nolan writes the script and directs Life. So boring, right? Sometimes, the only way to spice things up is … Continue reading

I Came, I Saw, I Judged: Pixar’s Toy Story 3

Alright, just give Pixar the Nobel Peace Prize Best Picture Oscar already. And while youre at it, let’s honor the following performances:   Best Actor – Woody  It’s Tom Hanks! The Academy loves Tom Hanks. I love Tom Hanks.    Best Actress – Ken Not many people can work the ascot. But Ken pulls it off. … Continue reading

Daniel Touchet Is kind of a big deal

Daniel Touchet is kind of a big deal and he’s not afraid of semicolons. the young man sat down with Symposium Says’ very own soren to answer some questions…    So Daniel, how does it feel to be kind of a big deal?  Thanks. It’s kind of like deciding which salad dressing you want at a restaurant; you … Continue reading

I Came, I Saw, I Judged: Ridley Scott’s Robin Hood

Whose 12th century balls are the biggest? Who cares?  Bored. 45 more days until My Next Orgasm Inception.