The Prudence Diaries: The Guy I Bonded With Because He Looked Like The Guy From KickAss And When The Lights Turned On In The Bar He Still Looked Like The Guy From KickAss

At a bar, sippin on whiskey n coke, after drinking mugs of whiskey mixed with mainly whiskey. Just got done charming two dudes with my “your cunt is in the sink” joke from Curb. One dude was this chick’s boyfriend and the other person I don’t remember…coulda been a girl or even one of my … Continue reading

Reappropriated Poetry

A newly discovered poem from the ancient greek philosopher, Helvetica. Confession I’m lookin’ for a dime that’s top of the line  Cute face slim waist with a big behind  I need a dime that’s top of the line  Cute face slim waist with a big behind

Chris Nolan And Larry David Collaborate On INCEPTION DVD Release

The highly anticipated DVD/blu ray release of Inception is slated for [insert date here]. Details of the special features discs are slowly being released. symposium says has learned that viewers will have the option to include a Zooey Deschanel decapitation in one of Arthur’s dreams during the movie. She serves as one of his projections/baggage … Continue reading

My Boyfriend Just Dumped Me To The Tune Of A Bright Eyes’ Song

objective: it’s not you, it’s Bright Eyes boyfriend/girlfriend, both early 20s, are leaving a movie theater… Girl: That movie was different from what I was expecting.. Boy: Girl: …yeah, I mean, I understand it’s a film adaptation and the filmmaker doesnt necessarily have to follow every little thing about the book…but the exclusion of Swedish … Continue reading

3 Philosophy Grad Students Walk Into A Bar…

3 philosophy grad students walk into a bar…   Bernard: Hey, have you guys seen that one cocktail waitress around here lately? The boorish one. Phillip: The ol’ curmudgeon who always messes up my order and brings me a Jack mixed with petulance… Gail: The ol’ curmudgeon who Bernard wants to sleep with, Phillip – … Continue reading

I Came, I Saw, I Judged: Christopher Nolan’s Inception [MINDFONDLE]

YO. All I gots to say is that Christopher Nolan has now saved me thousands of dollars. Because I no longer have to pay ridiculous amounts of money to have a therapist help me sift through my “issues”. Now all I gotta do to help me deal with my Angst is watch Inception. Inception was … Continue reading

I Went To Comic-Con, Dont Be Jelly

objective: check out the photo diary for Comic-Con 2010 and relive the magic.  San Diego is America’s 58th finest city for many reasons. I can think of three and a half:  America’s Next Top Model auditions are held here aka San Diegans are hotter than most people. We have bombass taco shops that are open 24 hours. And BAM! … Continue reading

Reading People’s Facebook Status Updates And Judging Them

I joined facebook kinda late. I created my account in November 2008 during my senior year of college. It was during Thanksgiving break and I stayed in town while all four of my friends went back home to eat turkey. I had one semester left of college and then Id be moving back home, 14 … Continue reading

Need Architect To Help Perform Inception

So a Mr. Charles contacted Symposium Says over the weekend. He wanted soren to create a craigslist ad for a special job he and his team would be performing in the near future. Mr. Charles has received plenty of replies to the ad, however, he says most of them are either forgers or chemists, which are … Continue reading

CHRIS NOLAN OR DIE: A Look At The Filmmaker’s Resume, Including Reasons Why This Brit Is Better Than You

objective: in honor of the theatrical release of Christopher Nolan’s Inception, we take a look at the writer/director’s resume in order to remind you why this Brit is better than you. Like, waaay better. #britidliketofuck #wishiwerebritish FOLLOWING (1999) Nolan writes the script and directs Life. So boring, right? Sometimes, the only way to spice things up is … Continue reading