The Unexamined Life Is Totally Worth Living

Socrates: The unexamined life is not worth living. Me: Shut up. You know what’s demoralizing? Genocide. Babies being punched to death. Famine. Pigs being injected with semen to avoid having them fuck. Bourgeois boredom. Being a 25 year old graduate student and still having to look up how to spell bougeouise bourgeois bourgeois. Homelessness. Domestic … Continue reading

What happens in La Paz stays on my blog

Shit my boyfriend said during our trip to Mexico…     To all the babes: dont wear a lot of make up on your face if you want me to lick it.   I subscribe to Harper’s.   In this instance, you might be right. This is a small victory for you.   I cant … Continue reading

“Hi, Id like a #1, animal style, with a side of Double Standards please.”

objective: via In n Out, order a double cheeseburger, a strawberry shake, and a slice of wisdom concerning issues in monogamy. All for $5.99. Extra ketchup please.   A male/female couple walk up to the register to order their meals…   In n Out Chick: Hi! Welcome to In n Out. How are you? Male: … Continue reading

San Francisco Bans Childhood

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Just days after the San Francisco Board Of Supervisors outlawed the McDonald’s Happy Meal , San Francisco has now decided to ban childhood from its city. The decision was met with a 10 – 1 vote and was proposed by council member, Dumb Fuck. Dumb Fuck released the following statement concerning the … Continue reading

Reading People’s Facebook Status Updates And Judging Them

I joined facebook kinda late. I created my account in November 2008 during my senior year of college. It was during Thanksgiving break and I stayed in town while all four of my friends went back home to eat turkey. I had one semester left of college and then Id be moving back home, 14 … Continue reading

CHRIS NOLAN OR DIE: A Look At The Filmmaker’s Resume, Including Reasons Why This Brit Is Better Than You

objective: in honor of the theatrical release of Christopher Nolan’s Inception, we take a look at the writer/director’s resume in order to remind you why this Brit is better than you. Like, waaay better. #britidliketofuck #wishiwerebritish FOLLOWING (1999) Nolan writes the script and directs Life. So boring, right? Sometimes, the only way to spice things up is … Continue reading

I Let My Friend Borrow Trainspotting And She Didn’t Even Care To Finish It. Should I Still Talk To Her?

Objective: To find out if my supposed friend who disliked the movie Trainspotting so much she couldn’t even finish it, is even worth my time, or if I should just pretend to be her friend and just talk shit about her behind her back.   Trainspotting. Enough said, right? The Opening Scene, the soundtrack, the … Continue reading

Capital G Graduation

Congrats to my friends who just graduated with their BAs/MAs in philosophy. Go get ’em. lol.