The Unexamined Life Is Totally Worth Living

Socrates: The unexamined life is not worth living. Me: Shut up. You know what’s demoralizing? Genocide. Babies being punched to death. Famine. Pigs being injected with semen to avoid having them fuck. Bourgeois boredom. Being a 25 year old graduate student and still having to look up how to spell bougeouise bourgeois bourgeois. Homelessness. Domestic … Continue reading

San Francisco Bans Childhood

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Just days after the San Francisco Board Of Supervisors outlawed the McDonald’s Happy Meal , San Francisco has now decided to ban childhood from its city. The decision was met with a 10 – 1 vote and was proposed by council member, Dumb Fuck. Dumb Fuck released the following statement concerning the … Continue reading

Twilight Haters Target New Toy Story Movie

LOS ANGELES, CA–Twilight:Eclipse premiered last week in Hollywood. Amongst the Twi-hards, Kristen Stewart’s mumble and Robert Pattinson’s hair, something peculiar caught everyone’s attention: a group of about a dozen pissed off individuals. They were mainly twentysomethings with oversized eyeglasses and misunderstood hair. They wore Twilight tshirts featuring Edward with a huge red X over his face. They held … Continue reading