Summer Of Love(?) Will I Cheat On My Boyfriend While He’s Away On A Farm?

just googlin "will I cheat on you this summer?"

School’s out…for summer. (Had to say it). And so is my 8 month long relationship with my partner, Garcin. (Kinda).  We’re still gonna be “together”…but he’s going to be farming in The Middle Of Nowhere from June until August and Ill be living in The City, hundreds of miles away. Possible premise for a Nicholas Sparks novel? I wish.

But this is the premise for my Summer Of Love(?). It really does bum me out and I specialize in histrionics, so trust me, Ive expressed my remorse for these circumstances. But apparently I should try to “maintain some dignity”, “be strong”, “do things for me”, “be independent” and whatever else Chicken Soup For The Teenage Soul teaches. One word: bored. A few more words: Who am I gonna fuck this summer? And again: bored.

Garcin and I have “talked about it”. We dont want the other to screw someone else. Despite his notorious history of promiscuity in past relationships, he and I have been monogamous and he’s going to be farming with a few dudes and some chickens. I, on the other hand, will be getting my Carrie on (circa Aidan, minus Big), and be living in the city all summer. And like, there are tons of people in the city. Do chickens even live in the city? Pretty sure Garcin is not into besteality. I do like cock though….

…which brings us to the issue: Will I cheat on my boyfriend while he’s on the farm this summer? Garcin has expressed to me numerous times that yes: I will cheat on him this summer. Not only will I cheat on him, he says, but I wont even tell him about it. OR, he says: Ill simply meet another dude and be like, peace out Garcin. Asta. And Garcin for real thinks this. He says Im so “transparent” and that “it’s cute” that I insist Ill be faithful and honest and “wait for him”. 

[insert paragraph here depicting Garcin’s background of countless one night stands while his past girlfriend was at home or out of town]

[insert paragraph here depicting how Ive never cheated on my boyfriends and that when I did want to sleep with other men, I simply abruptly ended the relationship with the dude I owned a car with and lived with]

Contrary to my boyfriend’s stubborn claims: this Summer Of Love(?), I plan to remind myself of those activities that are just as or even more important than having sex. And I plan on reuniting with my babe at the end of summer, and making sweet, sweet Nicholas Sparks love..minus the Alzheimer’s. Plus anal.

Stay tuned for self-congratulatory faithfulness or the mocking of my supposed inevitable infidelity. 


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Comments
2 Responses to “Summer Of Love(?) Will I Cheat On My Boyfriend While He’s Away On A Farm?”
  1. Does the Wilco classic totally summarize how you feel about your man friend? Because it summarizes how I feel about myself.

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