What happens in La Paz stays on my blog

Shit my boyfriend said during our trip to Mexico…



To all the babes: dont wear a lot of make up on your face if you want me to lick it.


I subscribe to Harper’s.

I subscribe to Harper's therefore am better than you.


In this instance, you might be right. This is a small victory for you.


I cant stand being around teenagers. I cant stand being around anybody.


Just sayin. (ad infinitum)


It’s not getting better. It’s getting meta.

Why you trying to hate on me for looking good in that photo?


(Three dudes in suits walk by…)

Me: What’s up with those guys?

Him: Well, you see, youre the architect and those guys are created from my subconscious and theyre looking at us like that because we’re drawing attention to the fact that this is a dream…


"Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty."


I wrote a paper on this. (ad infinitum)


Dude. He just threw a bag of coke at my face.


(whispering) That lady next to you…downed a margarita while you were in the bathroom.

Now all I need is a robe and netflix


(About Ryan Seacrest)

He serves no purpose and he should be eliminated.


You can be my q-tip.


(To me)

Whose pain are you laughing at now?

getting my tourist on


(At a bar: The Smiths come on)

Totally pleasant hearing The Smiths. I need to not hang the dj.


What else do you wanna know?


I shouldve been an idiot.

I gotta say: I actually like the kids in Mexico. This picture cost me $8.


You shouldve been abused more.


Im like, the antithesis of a pussy.


Good memory. Youre like my little tape recorder with a vagina.


after our shots of tequila and before we jumped in!

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