Daniel Touchet Is kind of a big deal

Daniel Touchet is kind of a big deal and he’s not afraid of semicolons.

the young man sat down with Symposium Says’ very own soren to answer some questions…   

So Daniel, how does it feel to be kind of a big deal?

 Thanks. It’s kind of like deciding which salad dressing you want at a restaurant; you could go either way about it, but you can’t decide because you feel like one would be horribly wrong.    

If that doesn’t make sense, maybe it’s more like not paying attention when you’re walking up stairs, and you get that mental front flip feeling when you realize there isn’t that extra step at the top.   

“Mental front flip,” eh? So it’s kind of like taking acid with Jude. Right on. Now, do you have your own Facebook page where people can “like” you or “become a fan” of you?

 Well, my friends and I once were going to start the “I Hate Daniel Touchet Fan Club.” Currently, we’re still at about two or three members.   

kinda big deal Jude, meet kinda big deal Daniel


Now, I saw a picture of you that shows that you were in that one Weezer music video where they rock out at the Playboy Mansion. Does Weezer express your soul?

 Not anymore. The thing is, (and this sounds pompous, but it’s true) I’ve listened to them “since the beginning.” And as far as I’m concerned, there are only two “actual” Weezer albums, and you shouldn’t have to ask which. Sorry if that sounds harsh.   

I think Weezer sucks anyway. But do you have a favorite sweater where you would be incredibly saddened if it were destroyed?

 I’d rather not talk about it…   

 You’re East County famous for being the “cute greaser” who works the door at the movie theatre. I’ve seen Twi-hards ask to take their picture with you. Do you think they believe you’re Edward or Jacob? Or do they just get that you’re kind of a big deal?

 Hey. One at a time. “Cute” or “Greaser”? I don’t know. I don’t claim either. I actually consider my style “classic” or just old-fashioned, because I feel pretty archaic about most things. I’m an old soul. My phone doesn’t even get internets. Now, these aforementioned Twi-hards stipulated some sort of compensation and I have yet to see the first dime rear its head… Maybe my hair wasn’t mussed-up enough like Edwards? No Team Daniel, after all.   

 I might make a switch to Team Daniel after this interview. Dont tell Edward though. So, on top of being such a charming doorman at the movie theatre, you’re quite the literary aficionado because I see you with a new novel every week. Tell me, what was the first book that enlightened you and made you reevaluate your values and shop at Whole Foods?

 The first rule about Fight Club is… well, actually, that didn’t change my life. I’m materialistic; I buy lots of books and movies. I consider myself at least vaguely intellectual; I’m not afraid of semicolons. Reading will change your life in general. My favorite author? I’ve got about eight. Douglas Coupland, Bret Easton Ellis, Chuck Palahniuk, Larry McMurtry, W. Somerset Maugham, Katherine Dunn, Patrick McGrath, Ian McEwan, J.D. Salinger (all his books, not just “Catcher in the Rye”), Michael Chabon, Isaac Asimov, and I’m not going to lie, I love the Harry Potter books.   

 I’m a college graduate but I had to google ‘aficionado’ to check its spelling. Obviously, Im a fucktard. Do you know how to spell it?

 I don’t remember not knowing how to spell ‘aficionado’. Reading will do that to you. Always been a good speller, never entered any spelling bees. C’est tragique.    

"We Luv U Daniel!!" xoxo Twi-hards


If someone mispronounces Chuck Palahniuk’s name as “Palahnuk” instead of the correct pronunciation “Palanik,” do you judge that person harshly? e.g., do you wonder why he/she even bothers still being alive?

 Chuck’s last name is an odd one. And the truth is: he mispronounces it in the first place. He’s met ancestors that tell how it goes, but he’s American, and pronounces it as his family always has. His grandparents’ names were Nick and Paula “Paula-Nick,” which is right enough, and that’s how he says he learned it. So, instead of judging anyone, I just mention how it goes, because everybody’s got to learn sometime. For the sake of street cred, (here’s where I get to brag) that’s how he explained it to me. And I explained to him how to pronounce my last name (“too-shay”) when I won a contest and my name was used for one of the characters in his novel “Diary.”   

 That’s pretty fucking cool, man. I kind of want your autograph now. 

So Im curious, which upcoming movie do you think will be kind of a big deal?

 Inception has me curious as all get out. I’m thinking it’s going to be a Matrix/The Cell/______ head trip. But as it’s Christopher Nolan directing, I imagine it’s guaranteed to be cool. He’s got Memento, The Prestige, Batman Begins, and The Dark Knight and more under his belt. So, weird as it looks, we’ve basically got nothing to worry about.   

I would totally have british sex with Chris Nolan. homigod.

Lastly, is Jude Law kind of a big deal?

 Luckily, despite snippets of his personal life indicating he’s been a bit of a scoundrel in the past, he’s still pretty near the peak when it comes to talented, handsome actors. I see his movies for the sake that he’s in them. It’s usually reason enough. I mean, he’s kind of a big deal.   

Thanks Daniel Touchet. Im glad youre kind of a big deal. KIT.


Daniel Touchet was reportedly born with a crayon in his hand. Despite the complications you might think that would cause, Daniel turned out just fine, and of course had a predilection towards fine art. Daniel is also very proud of his collecting abilities, with a DVD collection that is somewhere in the thousands and a book collection that is almost as large. While THE UNDERGROUNDS is Daniel’s first professional work in comics, he has been drawing on any piece of paper he could find for years. [taken from the Semantink.com website where Daniel draws the comic strip The Undergrounds.]

Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: